I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
