a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The power of my boobs compel you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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