Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
