i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize