i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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