also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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