did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
