A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
