I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
