Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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