I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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