oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
