just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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