Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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