I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
