My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
