New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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