You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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