he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
