I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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