It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
