There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
