I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so let's talk penis.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
