All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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