Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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