If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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