If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
