It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.