i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad