It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.