I want to stick my p in your. b.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?