Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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