I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
