just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
