she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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