Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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