Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
