It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
