i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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