Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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