btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
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my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high