Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.