Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.