Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
