so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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