But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
