Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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