Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
