butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
