HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
