dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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