i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i believe in u and ur pee
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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