I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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