Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So. Much. Porn.
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