I wannas sexs uuuuu
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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