Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize