I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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