Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
