Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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