I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize