it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
