I hate your face
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
