but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize