We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
