All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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