There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
