There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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