There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize