Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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