I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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