There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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