Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need a beard to bite.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
