i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
