I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
