I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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