my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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